I'm not really sure if he deserved it or not. I'm not sure if it was worth it or not. But I am getting ahead of myself really. We were just checking through some houses looking for any food and drinking our fill at the well pump we found. Sadly there wasn't much left in the houses. They had already been rifled through. It had been a few days since we last had eaten and we were both feeling the muscle fatigue. We hadn't even seen another person for weeks, so it surprised us when from our hiding spots we spotted the man jogging down the road towards the village we were scouring with an axe in his hands. We weren't sure what to do at first. He was armed, we needed supplies and our raid wasn't very fruitful. After a moment of discussion it was decided. I aimed my gun, saw the mans head through my scope, and squeezed. A bang and the man crumpled to the floor. It was easier then I thought it would be. Killing someone that is. Just a quick movement of my finger and that's all there was.We took what we needed, his backpack, some food, his shoes, and left him for the crows. Kruger says better safe then sorry. Honestly though, all I feel is pretty sorry. I didn't even know his name.
But for what I did we live another day. As hollow a victory that may be, a victory it is.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
I suppose it's a little late to be starting one of these. Really it's not day one, I have no idea what day it really is. They all blur together now, none of them really matter except this one. The day you have to survive. And at the end of the day it's one day less to be living. Yet at the end of the day there's another day dawning. Like a storm that'll break any second somehow hope burns inside me that there is more to live for. It's already been so long since the end. Nothing is really recognizable anymore. And the creatures that were never here before, the things that were once human are everywhere. Zombies, Biters, Zeds, Infected, whatever you call them. Disgusting creatures. No one really knows what happened. Some people say magic, some people say God is finally judging us for our sins. What do I think? Biological weapon gone wrong. One poor bastard wanted to kill a bunch of other poor bastards and now they are all just poor bastards milling about looking for what they used to be themselves to feast on. Ever been chased before? I don't mean like tag. I mean terrified, piss running down your leg, breath too heavy to speak, running for your life without even looking back. Because if you do look back, if you do stop, you will die. That's all there is anymore. Chasing and killing, killing and chasing. Sometimes, if you're lucky, there is hiding. In fact that's all there really was at first. Just hiding. In the beginning we were too soft, too scared. Too kind. Me and Kruger I mean. We tried to be civil. Tried to keep our wits about us, define our selves as humans. But being held up one too many times at gun point, being knocked out for the shirts off our back, having an arm or heaven forbid a leg broken by a bat just for the entertainment value showed us the error in our ways. Humanity is gone. Kindness is a relic of an age past. Every day I am out here somehow I feel like I'm slipping like I need to watch my footing, lest I slip just a little and lose myself forever. That's all we have to become however. All there is untimely. Machines, built to survive and nothing more. To feel is not necessary, to sympathize is to become victim, or worse. So machines we will be. Ever learning, ever more efficient, Machines.
What will you become to survive?
What will you become to survive?